I Have Died Before and Chosen to Stay

I have died many times in this life. Not in body, but in identity/ego. I have buried versions of myself that no longer fit. I have shed skins that once felt safe. Every time something inside me collapsed, something wiser stood up. Death, to me, is not an ending. It is a doorway. It is the moment you look at your own reflection and ask, are you ready to see differently?

Each morning is a resurrection. A new breath. A new chance to respond instead of react. A new opportunity to choose love instead of fear. I transform myself daily with affirmations, with nurture, with the simple decision that today is a new day. Today is a new breath. Today is growth and it is abundant and it is real.

Heaven is not somewhere far away. It is a way of being. It is the garden I feel called to plant. It is the crafts I am willing to sharpen. It is the discipline of knowing myself deeply. It is listening when my inner voice says begin. God, for me, is not confined to pages. God lives inside my chest as knowing. As conscience. As love. That presence has never left me. It has carried me through every ending and every becoming.

I understand that I have power. Power to disconnect. Power to leave parts of myself behind. Power to walk away from what harms me. But the greatest power I hold is this. I stay. I stay in my body. I stay in my growth. I stay in the discomfort of becoming. I choose to live. I choose to love. I choose to build a life that feels like heaven from the inside out.

Life can be magical. Not because it is easy, but because it is intentional. It is unique because I am unique. I feel deeply. I see deeply. Sometimes that intensity scares even me. Sometimes being seen feels vulnerable because it touches the places that once hurt. I do not always share my wounds fully. But I honor them. I sit with them. I let them teach me.

Every death in this lifetime has given me wisdom. Every rebirth has made me steadier. I am not here to escape this world. I am here to embody myself inside it. To question my thoughts. To refine my character. To love myself into truth. To create beauty with my hands. To live in alignment with the voice within that says you are safe, you are guided, you are capable.

When I die, I meet myself again. And each time I return to the same choice. Stay. Grow. Love. Begin again.

Today I choose to stay.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Was Never Taught How to Be Healthy

​ 2 years ago, after coming back from Mexico, my hair started falling out… not just a little clumps. But the truth is, I had been silently dealing with things in my body long before that. Skin flare-ups, imbalance, discomfort that never fully went away. I went to the doctor, did what I was told, used the creams, followed the steps, trusting that it would work. But it never actually healed anything. It would quiet things down for a season, make it feel manageable, and then it would come right back. No one ever talked to me about my gut, about my nervous system, about my body as a whole living system that needs balance to function. It was always about fixing the symptom, not understanding the root.  As a licensed cosmetologist, I’ve worked closely with products, ingredients, hair, and skin for years, and that’s part of what made this even louder for me. I started to really see what we are surrounded by, what we’re told is safe, normal, necessary. And my body began rejecting it. My sk...
Read more

When Love Is Said But Not Lived

There is a love that is spoken fluently but never lived. It rolls off the tongue like scripture. It sounds devoted. It sounds sacred. But it is hollow. It has no embodiment. No sacrifice. No alignment between word and action. Some people fall in love with the sound of themselves loving you. They love the role. The image. The audience. They love being seen as devoted more than they love being devoted. And you feel the fracture immediately. It’s subtle. A glance that lingers too long. A tone that shifts. A defensiveness that rises too quickly. Your body registers it before your mind can explain it. But when you speak, they turn it back on you. You’re insecure. You’re projecting. You’re dramatic. Slowly, your clarity gets labeled as chaos. Gaslighting is not just lying. It is the rewriting of your reality while you are standing inside it. It is being told that what you see is not there. That what you feel is irrational. That your intuition is dangerous. And if you stay long enough, ...
Read more

When “I Love You” Starts Feeling Scary

​ The Last Two Years The last two years have probably been some of the hardest years of my life. Not because life completely fell apart, but because I had to learn how to keep living while carrying heartbreak, disappointment, grief, and fear all at the same time. There is something deeply painful about giving people your full trust, your softness, your honesty, and then having to rebuild yourself afterward when things break. Walking away from what hurts you is not for the weak. People talk about leaving like it’s empowering and freeing, but they don’t always talk about the darkness that follows. The lonely nights. The second guessing. The grief that comes in waves. The moments where your nervous system no longer knows what safety feels like around another human being. I think one of the hardest things for me has been learning how to feel safe with people again. Not just romantic relationships, but people in general. When trust gets broken deeply enough, your body remembers. Your ...
Read more